The first fan or customer you need is you! You’ve got to love your self, not always will you get nice appraisal from the external world. In such situation, what will keep you going is your love and belief for self. We get our self esteem from two major sources; from our internal world and the external world. The external world comprises of different components, ranging from people’s opinion and feedback, the results we get in life, the societal standards of what is norm or not, the economy or our status (economic or social).
So if you do something, you’ll naturally either want to seek people’s opinion, or just be pleased with your result. If your are the type who is more dependent on the external world, then you’ll feel good when you get approval, and also feel bad when it’s a negative feed back. But for those who are more dependent on the internal world, they’ll only feel bad for a while and then move on almost immediately. The advantage these sets of people enjoy is that they get enough peace, and clarity to draw lessons from failure and criticism, unlike their counterparts who will lapse into gloom and depression.
My advice;
Be more dependent on the inner world, with wisdom seek feed backs but also be able to filter the hurts in criticism and negative feedbacks from the credible lessons that might also come with it.
Let me tell you about the inner world;
First of all, you’ve got to love your body and body parts. You see, society has set standards for what will pass as a beautiful nose, nice leg, handsome face, nice sets of teeth, good hair, nice shape, and so on. And so, people naturally feel inferior once they find out one or more body parts that do not match those criteria.
Newsflash! There is nothing you can do to change it, and if you attempt the Michael Jackson and Nicky Minag style, you’ll end up a fake and that in itself can cause more low self esteem. Before you discovered that so called “deficiency”, were you not doing fine?
Secondly, you’ve got to believe in your self; have the “I CAN” mindset always, this is not to psyche your self up, but it is the truth. We humans are riddled with complexities that make us almost capable of anything. Given time and commitment man can accomplish almost anything and everything. So if there’s ever anything you cannot do well, first know you’ve got the potential to do it and then go ahead to start building competence, build it until you won’t need anybody to tell you that you are good before you know it. You see, there are things that I do, that when I get praised for it I don’t blush anymore; it is not pride, it’s what is called self confidence.
Bottom line, develop that “I CAN” mindset of possibilities, and honestly, that is the accurate mindset of real humans. We are potentiated beings, just because you can’t now doesn’t mean you can’t for ever.
Thirdly, reduce the ratio of failings you have compared to the successes you bag. Set goals and stay committed to it until you achieve it, if you fail, don’t give up, try other methods. The more ACCOMPLISHMENTS we have, the better we feel about ourselves. However, no one without the “I CAN” mind set can stay committed to a goal especially at failing times.
Fourthly, redefine what you call failure and obstacle. In doing so you must first accept that failure is no body’s nature, rather it is an event, and the result of past actions. Also know that it is feedback in disguise instructing you of the wrong and better strategy.
When you successfully buy into your self and love yourself enough, it will reflect; it’s a psychological magic. It will go as far as making people love you just the way you are. I have an older friend, I call him Fredo; this guy exudes so much of self love that if you approached him with bias of some sort, you’ll end up loving him just after the exchange of a hand shake.
Friend, you’ve got to love yourself like no other one else.
I love you!